How to Be Happy at Home

(Yes, it has been forever since I've blogged, but life has been nuts lately! But that is a story for another blog!)
This morning I woke up in a horrible mood. I usually love being a homemaker, and confess to watching episodes of "Leave it to Beaver" and "The Andy Griffith Show" while ironing- this may shock some of my friends, but oh well, it makes me happy.  But today I felt more like Rosanne Barr from "Married with Children" than June Cleaver or  Aunt Bee. Maybe it was vidonine withdrawals (no I am not addicted - only took it for four days, with a prescription from my doctor to recover from a wisdom tooth being taken out!), or maybe it was the fact that I am dreadfully behind my usual routine on account of a massive three week ant invasion. Either way I felt more like this:

(it had to be the Vicodine withdrawels!)

than this:

This got me to thinking, and praying, about how to be happy in my choice to be a homemaker:
1. Stay connected to Christ - Jesus says in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing." Anyone can mop floors, cook dinner, or pay the bills, but to do it with love, day in and day out, is something only possible through Christ.
2. Find your identity in Christ - People can be downright nasty to homemakers in this day and age where money is what matters most. Fill your mind with true thoughts about your value in Christ, and drive off Satan's attacks.
2. Don't play the martyr - While the obvious point of being a homemaker is to take care of your family, do not neglect yourself to the point that you start resenting everyone around you. If you need to get outdoors, but the ironing isn't done, go for a walk first. The ironing can wait. If you desperately need a nap (and you can!) but that means you won't have time to make a three course meal, take a nap! Everyone will be much happier if they eat spaghetti and meatballs but there is no organic Tiramasu or antipasta salad - if you are relaxed and not snappy.
3. Remember why you chose to be a homemaker in the first place - Was it to stay home with your newborn baby? Was it to homeschool your special needs child? For me, it was to get over adrenal fatigue, to help my husband with his teaching ministry to reduce his stress load, and to learn to live off one income for our ultimate goal... And when I remember these things, and how I don't have to go to work when I feel like I am going to pass out, and how incredibly happy Pete and I are in our marriage, and how God is blessing our ministry, all the bugs, or housework to catch up on, in the world, can't steal my joy.

4. Meet actual needs of those you love - Don't waste energy on unimportant things because you think you "should". Pete is very easy to please and feels loved if I cook good tasting meals with lots of meat, and if he has enough clean socks to wear, and if I help him with his classes - he could care less about whether the closets are organized or windows cleaned. He'd rather be able to spend time talking and being, um, romantic, then live in a spotless house. If your family feels loved when you dust the baseboards, and you want to bless them, do it! But if not, forget it.

5. Take advantage of your freedom and HAVE FUN - At a 9 to 5 job, you typically can't listen to whatever music you want, go for a walk whenever you want, cook whatever food you are hungry for, decorate your surroundings however you like.  Sometimes I forget this! I've never been able to, for example, decoupage a lamp at an office job:

(Selling this in my etsy shop - but secretly hoping it won't sell because I love it!)

6. Keep up a routine (when you can) - Washing a sinkful of dishes never bothers me - washing mildew off of dishes is disgusting. Doing a few loads of laundry is fine - but when the laundry starts to smell, I don't want to touch it! I realize it is much harder to keep up with these things if you have little children, but I think staying in a routine will be much more important for my sanity then!

After catching up on some housework after taking a walk and talking to God, I feel much better. Good thing Pete was at work today ;).

How do you stay happy at home? At your job?

Intellectual Housewives



         In the movie about 1953 Wellesly College girls, Mona Lisa Smiles, the malicious Betty Warren (Kirsten Dunst) attacks Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts) for encouraging her friend to go to Yale Law School with this statement in the school newspaper: "Ms. Katherine Watson, instructor in the art history department, has decided to declare war on the holy sacrament of marriage. Her subversive and political teachings encourage our Wellesley girls to reject the roles they were born to fill."   
         Katherine Watson's response is to show a slideshow in class of ridiculous housewife advertisements, asking the girls if this is how they want to be remembered, how they want to use there education:
 "What will future scholars see when they study us, a portrait of women today? There you are ladies: the perfect likeness of a Wellesley graduate, Magna Cum Laude, doing exactly what she was trained to do. Slide - a Rhodes Scholar, I wonder if she recites Chaucer while she presses her husband's shirts. Slide - hehe, now you physics majors can calculate the mass and volume of every meatloaf you make. Slide - A girdle to set you free. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does it mean? I give up, you win." 


Couldn't find the advertisement from the movie!

When I decided this Spring to quit my part-time preschool job to focus on my health and on helping Pete with his ministry, one of my greatest fears was "Will people think that I am just a dumb housewife?"  This fear was compounded to "Will I become a dumb housewife?" when I was first home and went through a phase of doing nothing but cooking and cleaning all day - I felt like my brain cells were leaking, and I hadn't even watched a single episode of Oprah! But I decided to snap out of this intellectual lethargy and use my mind for God's glory and my free time intelligently - to help Pete grade Greek for his intensive two-year in one-summer class. He had no answer key for the textbook he is using, so I made one - an answer key for a first year Greek Grammer - in seven weeks (which explains the 7 week blogging lull!). I literally have been reviewing, not Chaucer, but Greek paradigms, while ironing Pete's shirts! And reciting Greek vocabulary while hanging laundry on the line. And diagramming Greek sentences in my head while cooking dinner. Actually, I've been much more intellectually stimulated since staying home because I've been purposeful to be so, and have had more energy to put into study.
      I think of my mother who is a stay at home mom who reads Church History in her free time. Or my mother-in-law, a homemaker who reads Shakespeare. Or my sister Erica, a stay at home mom who is reading the letters of Clemantine and Winston Churchill.
     I am not a Betty Warren type of housewife, by the way. I think that the 1950's had some good things, but also much fakeness and hypocrisy. I am thankful that women have more options than marriage, or being a nurse, teacher, or secretary. And I think that every woman should choose to do what is best for herself and her family, whether that be Yale Law School or being home. My point is - don't assume a woman is dumb, or is wasting her education, because she is a housewife.