Moxie in 2012

One of the reasons I started this blog last New Year’s was to hold myself accountable to accomplish some goals.  I fully intended to do everything on my “50 Things” list, but God had different plans. In May I was diagnosed with something called “adrenal insufficiency”, a condition where you have very low cortisol and therefore have quite low energy and a hard time dealing with stress, be that physical, emotional, relational, environmental – whatever! (Cortisol is the hormone in our bodies which help us handle stress – without enough, the littliest stressor can exhaust you). This condition runs in my family,  so I have to figure out how to get better for my families sake so we can all be able to live normal lives! Doing research, I realized that having unreasonable goals was completely incompatible with getting better, and that I would need to be very, very, very patient in waiting on some of these goals, and doing others s…..l…..o……w……l……y.

Despite this, I have had a good year. God has really drawn me closer to Him – I had a goal to pray and read the Bible every day, and I have had to keep this goal to keep my sanity! Some days I am very discouraged and just tell God how upset with Him I am that I can’t do more towards our future goals, and others I feel His presence so near, knowing He will get me through this trial and make me more like His Son in the process . Not only that, but it has changed Pete and I’s marriage completely. We communicate so much better, fight so much less, and act like two silly love birds. So I am thankful.    

Next year I have just  four goals: (1)  stay close to God,  (2) stay close to Pete, (3) take one day at a time, and (4) have courage.  Because you see it takes courage to get healthy when you have a chronic illness. You have to have to courage to make changes (like not eating ANY sugar, going to bed at least by ten every night, pacing yourself – this has been the hardest for me!). It takes courage to wait on what your heart desires more than anything else, to trust God for His timing. It takes courage to not worry about people thinking you are “lazy” and get the rest that you need, but to still love those people who are unknowingly being hurtful. It takes courage to have enough integrity to not overcommit, to not rashly decide to do things you may not have the strength for but to think them through first.   It takes courage to do what you can instead of giving into discouragement. It takes courage to say “no”! By nature I am not a very courageous person, but I know that God is with me and He will give the courage I need.

In light of this new goal of having courage, I have decided to, when I can, blog about “How to Overcome Fatigue”.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort we ourselves are comforted by God.” Before now, I have been too scared of what people will say or think if I blogged about this issue. But in 2012 it is time to have a little moxie and write about what I am doing to get better and how God is helping me through, because I want to comfort others the way God has comforted me! 

Television, Facebook Tetris Dare, and Dreams

When Pete and I moved from Texas to California two years ago, we left our small television behind. It was around the time that you needed to buy a converter box, and we figured we would just replace our old television with a new and bigger one once we got settled. We got settled, and then decided to get serious about paying off debt, which meant no money for extras like televisions. We watched movies on our laptop, and replaced t.v. time with reading, playing card and board games, and creative pursuits like writing (such as this blog and my husband's someday bestseller on Romans 8!) and art. We realized we LOVED not having a television. We were just overall happier, more productive, and  even nicer to each other without filling our minds with sarcastic zingers from "Everybody Loves Raymond".

 Then about three months ago, Pete bought this television pictured below at a garage sale for 5$:

It hums for two minutes after you turn it on! We bought it to watch DVD's on so that we wouldn't wear out the laptop as fast. It sat in a corner in the living room for over a month until I found the hookup for the DVD player (which is hiding under the blue cloth on top of the T.V.). A week after setting it up, Pete bought the VCR at a thrift store for $2.50, which eats tapes unless you rewind it while the movie is playing. "Moonstruck", which I let get to final credits, has seen better days.

         Around this time, Pete finished teaching a two-year intensive Greek class that I helped him with daily, and I came down with a nasty bug. I started watching lots of movies, and playing LOTS of facebook Tetris, and noticed that on top of being sick, I was feeling quite unhappy, almost depressed. A week of this and I decided enough was enough, so I dared myself to STOP playing facebook Tetris entirely and only watch movies when I am ironing (I'm sorry, but it is impossible to iron without watching some sort of media) or once or twice a week in the evenings with Pete while embroidering or mending clothes. Then last Sunday night I dared Pete to see if he could not play Tetris for a week (he has played three times as much Tetris as me, and I was so addicted I would see tetris pieces falling in my sleep!) The deal was that if he failed, he would have to forego sugar for a week, and if he won, I would have to watch Rockie IV with him. Today is Saturday, and no Tetris for my disciplined husband, so I am forseeing some gory boxing and "Adrian"'s in my near future.

       Since I stopped all of this Tetris and movie nonsense, I have to say that I am back to my happy former self. I am getting done organizing projects around the house (the top of the fridge has never been this clean!), Pete's New Testament Survey notes are actually getting edited this semester,  more of the Bible is being read and Greek being studied, and I feel full of dreams again. Dreams about finishing my story "16th and Island" and (gulp) submitting it for publication, dreams about calligraphy pieces being painted and sold, dreams about new skills being learned like knitting and canning, dreams about even eventually a part-time job to help pay down student loan debt, (once I get my energy up). Dreams which were not being worked towards when facebook Tetris and old 80's classics were robbing my time!

What are your dreams and how does television and computer games affect them?

50 Things in 215 Days - Learning from Gardening Mistakes!

           After years of killing every plant that I have owned, I decided in January that this would be the year I would grow a successful garden. And boy have I tried! My original plans to try with a few plants I had seeds for expanded when Pete's Aunt Jill gave me a bunch of left over seeds she had - cilantro, zuchinni, lots of onions, tomatoes, and squash to name a few. I had little plants growing all over my house in dixie cups this spring - it must have looked like we were growing marijuana to our neighbors. But sadly very few of the poor innocent seedlings survived me forgetting to water them or planting them before they were strong enough to make it on their own. Not much success growing from seed, but I have somehow managed to plant tomatoes on accident under our apricot tree, and keep alive some tomato plants that someone donated to our churches "Leave or Take" box.

       But zuchhini must be hardy plants because they have not only survived but taken over! I planted 6 little zuchinni seedlings in the raised bed Pete built me, and they have grown over the onions and tomatoes, and are suffocating them! 

 Here you can see the tomatoes pushed over the edge of the box by the zuchinni - selfish plants!

    Here are some of the many, many zuchinnis we've harvested this summer. I need to learn how to freeze them because I am actually getting tired of eating them! Aren't they huge?

So from my gardening attempts this summer I have learned that I need to work on spacing my plants :). And I get to cross something off my list:

41. Plant spaghetti squash, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, asain carrots, and butterleaf lettuce
42. Grow these things successfully :) (the tomatoes anyways!)
     

The wonderful thing about San Diego is that I get to try again with gardening this Fall. I think I will leave zuchinni out!

50 Things on the Shelf (for Now)

I have not been blogging as much lately, but not because I've lost interest! You would think that being home I'd have more time to blog, but this summer the opposite has proved the case. The first reason is because I have been very busy helping Pete grade Greek - he is teaching an intensive class - two years in one summer! on top of working at Starbucks, teaching Karate, and teaching online. So he needs all the help I can give him, especially because the textbook has no answer key. I am creating the answer key for next time around! And I've thoroughly enjoyed myself - it is the perfect opportunity to refresh myself in the basics, and it has helped my reading in the Greek New Testament. For anyone who has been able to read Jesus' words in the original language, and realize things like "this subjunctive verb shows how willing He was to die for us" knows what an immense and incredible JOY this is! So blogging has gone on the back burner to give way to paradigms and parsing. (I am going to at least try to get back into the groove of writing "16th and Island", though, before I forget too many details!)
    The other reason for my blogging hiatus is I've recently been diagnosed with something called "Adrenal Fatigue". All this means is my adrenal glands don't produce enough of the right hormones, so I get tired very easily. One of the best ways to recover is to rest when you are tired, something I have never been good at. I've been forcing myself to develop this discipline, because I want to recover before we have kids so that I am not fainting while holding a newborn! This means that somethings just don't get done, and when the choice is between cooking dinner and hanging out with a friend, or cooking dinner and blogging, blogging is the first to go!  This also means that I may not accomplish every thing on my "50 Things" list this year - in fact, I am putting that on the shelf for now - (unless I get bored and need something to do, but that seems unlikely at the moment). I am ok with this, because at least I have a diagnosis, and my first priority is to figure out how to get better. I think that I find way too much value in my own productivity, and God is really teaching me to just rest in His unconditional love, and to trust in Him. He doesn't judge me for being too tired to organize the garage, or to bake bread from scratch, or to dust behind the sofa  - I am righteous in Christ, and He is working in me to form me into His image. 
        God willing, I will get back to crossing things off my "50 Things" list in a few weeks or months. But for now, I am translating some Greek and going to bed early.

50 Things in 77 Days

 

With all of the changes that have taken place lately in my life (slowly getting back good health and quitting work in order to do so), I have decided to re-evaluate my goals for this year. Some I am modifying, but most I am keeping, and their are others I may add as well.

 As far as writing goals:

1. Blog six days a week - is just too much, because I don't have something to say 6 days a week. I would rather write three really good posts a week than 6 mediocre ones!

2. Write 16th and Island (story about homeless family) - this goal I plan to keep, because I really think this story must be told. But as I will have more time and energy to work on it now, I have a new goal of working on it every day before I forget some crucial details about what happened!

3. Try to get 16th and Island published - this will be a huge mountain to climb, but I intend on giving it my best efforts!

As far as spiritual goals - I just need to get back on track, and I will, starting tonight! I want my relationship with God to be the most important thing in my life, but I tend to work and worry, like Martha, instead of pray!

As far as health goals - #18, Walk 60 miles a month, is just too much right now. So I am revising this goal to thirty miles a month, for now until I can get my stamina back. So far I have walked 19 miles this month!

Gardening goals - are being hampered by birds, earwigs, field mice, and gophers - uggghhh. But I am NOT giving up the dream of having my own garden, so it is time to go to war with these critters!

I have managed to cross # 34 -Learn 3 new calligraphy fonts off my list - I've learned Spencerian, Latin, and Uncial.

What are your plans/ goals for the week?

50 Things in 21 Days

So far this year has not gone according to plan. This week I got over the flu, but I have developed a cold which has kept me from being able to really start exercising much (I did manage to eek out 4 miles though). So it is time to really step back and try to build my immune system (which is weakened by a condition I have). I am:

1) Drinking 10 glasses of water a day

2) Taking powder vitamin C and liquid echinacea (they are supposed to absord easier!)

3) Making sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night.
4) Drinking 1 oz of Noni Juice a day (it tastes nasty, but it is already helping in some other areas besides immunity, which I won't gross you out with :).
Hopefully, these steps will help me get and stay healthy! If not, I may have to do something drastic, like go on a week long juice fast. Yikes!

Reading the Bible and praying have been going well, which is helping me with my attitude about being sick - God's been giving me the grace to be much more thankful this week. God loves me unconditionally, all of our needs are met, I am married to the man of my dreams - what do I have to complain about!!

Sadly, I did not get my etsy shop up as I planned! Being a procrastinating perfectionist, such a big task seems almost overwhelming! I did manage to get a good profile picture (which I still need to upload) and take photos of new calligraphy pieces I gave as Christmas presents. Next week, I am determined to get it up and running, and to achieve that, I have the mini-goal of working on it at least half an hour a day. I can do anything, no matter how daunting, for half an hour!

What do you do boost your immune system in the cold/flu season? How do break large tasks into smaller, more achievable ones?

50 Things in 14 days

"Harvey called in sick. He decided to blog at home today."

This week I came down with another, even worse, virus than last week - the stomach flu!  At first, I kept bursting into tears, not because of  the room-spinning dizziness or the draining fatigue or the roller-coaster nausea, but because of my forced hiatus from achieving this year's goals! Then as I was reading James, I came across these verses:

4:13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into this or that town ¹⁷  and spend a year there and do business and make a profit.” 4:14 You ¹⁸  do not know about tomorrow. What is your life like? ¹⁹  For you are a puff of smoke ²⁰  that appears for a short time and then vanishes. 4:15 You ought to say instead, ²¹  “If the Lord is willing, then we will live and do this or that.” 4:16 But as it is, ²²  you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.

God has been teaching me for years that my value is not in how much I accomplish, but in Him alone - I guess this lesson is one I am still learning. My life will not end if I only end up accomplishing "48 Things" or "39 Things" or even, gasp! "25 Things" off my list this year :). What matters is if God's will is accomplished in my life. 

I was somehow able to:

 44. Finish hand-mending pair of jeans I've been working on for three months! 

Next week, God willing, I will:

- keep reading God's Word and praying, resume exercising, and

33. Start a shop on etsy.

What are your goals, God-willing, for the next week? month? year?

50 Things in 7 Days

This week has been remarkably productive, considering Pete and I have been battling a stealthy peek-a-boo virus since Christmas! Seeing written down all that I wanted to get done this year I realized I needed to get organized and did a "New Year's cleaning" of our entire one-bedroom flat.

From the list I completed:
6. Make a real prayer list and don't lose it! :)   Well, haven't lost it yet :)
29. Put shelves into bedroom for organizing clothes   See "Frugal Tip from the Green Housewife"

As far as long-term goals go:

Spiritual - Bible reading is going well - I've enjoyed reading I and II Timothy, Titus, and Hebrews. Hebrews is so captivating, talking about our Great High Priest and the New Country we are looking forward to by faith.  But I have been realizing how anemic my prayer life is! Some days it has been a struggle to focus for 10 minutes on talking to the God of the universe. I need to focus on worshipping God for who He is - if I truly saw Him as being everywhere, holy, all-powerful, all-loving, at all-times, prayer would be a delight, not something I just tried to cross off my list.

Health - Obviously I couldn't exercise much this week, although I managed to eek out 6 miles. Had a few bites of hamburger and one cheese stick (forgot about the no dairy goal momentarily!), but turned down delicious chocolate brownies and birthday cake at the church potluck :).  Focusing on these goals will help me get more done this year!

Writing - So far, so good. Realizing that I am not good at descriptions of places, so my self-imposed deadline of posting "16th and Island" once a week is forcing me to not procrastinate.

Next Week I am focusing on beginning to:
8. Memorize Genesis 1 and John 1
33. Start a shop on etsy

What are your New Year's Resolutions? Goals for this week?

Why 50 Things in 365 Days?

A few friends have balked at the length of my New Year's Resolution list. So I will explain my reasoning behind "50 Things in 365 Days". It is not because I am a gluten for punishment, or because I have unrealistic expectations, or because I enjoy making lists. It is not because I want to brag about everything I will do this year just to not do any of those things. It is not because I didn't know what to post about on New Years.

Here are a few of my reasons:
1. I want to grow spiritually more this year than last year. Our pastor, excuse me, "teaching elder" :), challenged us the last two Sundays to really focus on the basic spiritual disciplines this year: Bible reading, prayer, witnessing, and scripture memorization - so that next New Year's we can look back and see that have grown closer to our Savior, instead of more spiritually stagnant.

2. I am ADD and need concrete deadlines and accountability to accomplish anything! Any of you seen "Julie and Julia"? Well, I am ADD like Julie Powell - Pete, that is why I have never been good  at housework.

3. I will never have this much time to accomplish the things I want to accomplish again.  After  a string of nightmare nanny and cleaning jobs, with some health issues in the mix, Pete asked me (actually almost insisted) at the end of 2009 that we try to live mostly off of his income, and I work only part-time to pay off debt and save. Well, I had my doubts that such a scheme would work, but by the end of 2010 we had less debt, our marriage was a lot stronger, and we were able to do more ministry together. 
          But instead of getting done the gardening, writing, calligraphy-ing, sewing, general homemaking, exercising, and ministry that I finally had the time to do, I wasted a lot of time looking at other people's blogs envying their fulfilling lives. Not this year! While waiting for God to bring us the child(ren) He has for us, either through adoption or through natural childbirth, I better get busy, because once He does bless us that way, I won't have any more free time!

4. I've been shaken up recently to live intentionally.   (You can read why in the posts titled "16th and Island"). 

5. I want to encourage my friends to meet their goals.  If ADD me can do it, so can you! Each Saturday, I will give an update of how I am doing on my goals - hopefully this will give me some accountability to achieve a few of them! Feel free to post about how you are doing on your New Year's Resolutions/ goals as well. Let's encourage each other this year to see what we can accomplish, for the glory of God and the good of others!

Stay tuned tomorrow for "50 Things in 7 Days"

50 Things in 365 days

With God's grace, in 2011 I resolve to:

Writing Goals
1. Blog six days a week
2. Finish writing short story "16th and Island"
3. Try to get "16th and Island" published

Spiritual Goals
4. Read the Bible everyday
5 Pray 10 Minutes everyday (at least)
6. Make a real prayer list and don't lose it! :)
7. Spend one day a month in serious prayer
8. Memorize Genesis 1 and John 1

Financial Goals
9. Continue budgeting at the beginning of each month
10. Continue balancing checkbook each week while praising God for online banking :)
11. Save at least 25$ more a month
12. Pay off the car I wrecked a year and a half ago
13. Save for a laproscopic surery
14. Pay down at least $1000 extra on smallest student loan
15. Give ___ $ more a month

Health Goals
16. Remember to take pills everyday :)
17. Exercise 6 days a week
18. Walk at least 60 miles a month
19. Do weight training 3 times a week
20. Eat salad 4 times a week
21. Eat NO SUGAR all year
22. Eat NO WHEAT all year
23. Eat no dairy all year
24. Eat no red meat all year
25. Get tested for wheat allergy
26. Get laproscopic surgery
27. Lose and KEEP off these last stubborn 35 pounds!

Cleaning/ Organizing Goals
28. Dust really well once a week
29. Put shelves into bedroom for organizing clothes
30. Have trash men pick up old broken television and molding bedframe
31. Buy new iron and ironing board for FASTER ironing!
32. Put in two sturdy clotheslines to replace the one which almost touches ground when full :

Calligraphy Goals
33. Start a shop on etsy
34. Learn 3 new fonts

Ministry Goals
35. Find an easy to understand history of Old Testament for Wanda
36. Edit Pete's New Testament Survey notes in time for them to be published by fall
37. Add graphics and pictures to all of Pete's New Testament Survey Power Points by end of year
38. Summarize main points of "Basic Greek Grammer" by Mounce for Pete's summer Greek class
39. Raise at least $100 dollars for homeless children through blogging and calligraphy

Gardening Goals
40. Plant Morning Glories in window boxes and keep them alive
41. Plant spaghetti squash, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, asain carrots, and butterleaf lettuce
42. Grow these things successfully :)
43. Make another row of compost trench

Sewing
44. Finish hand-mending pair of jeans I've been working on for three months!
45. Buy a sewing machine
46. Take a class on how to use sewing machine
47. Complete one simple project

Cooking Goals
48. Bake 1 loaf of gluten-free bread (this will be the year!)
49. Learn 3 new Thai dishes
50. Organize recipes!!!!





What are your New Years Resolutions?

Entering 2011 (a baby step closer to) Debt Free

Pete and I had the goal of paying off all medical debt in 2010 - and by the skin of our teeth, we just made it!  We started off the year with five medical bills we weren't sure how to pay, and as small claims court or wage garnishment were not options we were willing to consider, we decided that drastic times called for drastic measures. So it has been an exciting year of choosing fresh food at home over overpriced artery clogging fastfood, learning lots of new recipes that involve the legume family, and perfecting my skills as a seamstress (i.e. learning how to mend). But then several emergencies came up last minute, and we thought we would have to wait until next year to finish. A tad bit disappointing considering I had learned 50 different ways to make beans and rice this year (just kidding). Yet with these economic times we were just feeling blessed to know how all our bills would get paid and to have a roof over our head and electricity. Then yesterday afternoon, when we realized Pete got paid more than we had budgeted for one of his classes, we were able to send in the remaining balance on the last remaining bill.  God is so gracious in blessing us by allowing us to make this goal - He is so thoughtful!

What goals have you accomplished this year? Financial or otherwise?