One of the reasons I started this blog last New Year’s was to hold myself accountable to accomplish some goals. I fully intended to do everything on my “50 Things” list, but God had different plans. In May I was diagnosed with something called “adrenal insufficiency”, a condition where you have very low cortisol and therefore have quite low energy and a hard time dealing with stress, be that physical, emotional, relational, environmental – whatever! (Cortisol is the hormone in our bodies which help us handle stress – without enough, the littliest stressor can exhaust you). This condition runs in my family, so I have to figure out how to get better for my families sake so we can all be able to live normal lives! Doing research, I realized that having unreasonable goals was completely incompatible with getting better, and that I would need to be very, very, very patient in waiting on some of these goals, and doing others s…..l…..o……w……l……y.
Despite this, I have had a good year. God has really drawn me closer to Him – I had a goal to pray and read the Bible every day, and I have had to keep this goal to keep my sanity! Some days I am very discouraged and just tell God how upset with Him I am that I can’t do more towards our future goals, and others I feel His presence so near, knowing He will get me through this trial and make me more like His Son in the process . Not only that, but it has changed Pete and I’s marriage completely. We communicate so much better, fight so much less, and act like two silly love birds. So I am thankful.
Next year I have just four goals: (1) stay close to God, (2) stay close to Pete, (3) take one day at a time, and (4) have courage. Because you see it takes courage to get healthy when you have a chronic illness. You have to have to courage to make changes (like not eating ANY sugar, going to bed at least by ten every night, pacing yourself – this has been the hardest for me!). It takes courage to wait on what your heart desires more than anything else, to trust God for His timing. It takes courage to not worry about people thinking you are “lazy” and get the rest that you need, but to still love those people who are unknowingly being hurtful. It takes courage to have enough integrity to not overcommit, to not rashly decide to do things you may not have the strength for but to think them through first. It takes courage to do what you can instead of giving into discouragement. It takes courage to say “no”! By nature I am not a very courageous person, but I know that God is with me and He will give the courage I need.
In light of this new goal of having courage, I have decided to, when I can, blog about “How to Overcome Fatigue”. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of all mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort we ourselves are comforted by God.” Before now, I have been too scared of what people will say or think if I blogged about this issue. But in 2012 it is time to have a little moxie and write about what I am doing to get better and how God is helping me through, because I want to comfort others the way God has comforted me!