This past year has been, to say the least, a roller coaster ride. In April, after an extremely stressful episode with a friend who we lost to an illness she wouldn't get treatment for (biggest mistake of my life because of all the pain it caused my husband, but I loved this girl like a sister), I had the worst adrenal crash of my life. I was so tired and weak I would pray each morning I would wake up the next day. It took all my strength to walk to the restroom or to the refrigerator to get food. I even tried to make Pete promise to get remarried if anything happened (which he, incidentally, would not promise). Then there were trips to the emerency room where I was tremoring, even stuttering, where the doctors stared at me and said it was all my head, but did I want some Xanax? I remember making a choice - I had to decide to get well on my own as conventional doctors would just watch me die if I relied on them. My osteopath figured out some good pointers for overcoming the intestinal issues which were causing a lot of the crazy symptoms I was having. But I also did a lot of my own research about what to do to overcome them - it was do or die, and I really had no choice. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, and so did my doctor (because we didn't know my full diagnosis then) , but by God's grace with a really good anti-candida diet, some good supplements, daily graded exercise, and lots of acupuncture, I went from praying to wake up the next morning to being able to walk 30 minutes a day and even had plans of starting up a home business painting calligraphy on furniture. I was so grateful and felt like I had a new lease on life that I really didn't deserve. I was the happiest woman alive.
Then in August we both got sick with a bad flu virus. I fought it off, but my energy levels plummeted back down to where I could only walk 6 minutes a day. I got back up to about 20. Then another virus came, I would fight it off, and I would start again. This has happened at least 6 times during this terrible cold and season, even though I've worn a mask to church, take tons of vitamin C, and tried to stay away from sick people. Each time I would get back up, and keep going, but while trying to just be thankful I was alive and could walk around without a cane, it was discouraging to say the least. Mostly because I want to help my ever loving husband more, and not have to rely on him for so much (but that is another post about accepting God's grace in my life...). Add to that some judgmental comments from Christians (NOT from Grace Fellowship) that I maybe wasn't getting well because of doing yoga or acupuncture and wasn't treating my body as the temple of the Holy Spirit. Satan was really after me there for a while, and I really did get pretty discouraged. But in retrospect, his wiles are pretty ridiculous - all false guilt is from Satan himself, never God. And I don't ever have to listen to his lies.
About three weeks ago after a bad reaction to an herb my acupuncturist had me try (which a lot of people do not react to, in fairness), I was at my wit's end. I was crying out to God, "Please Lord, You know everything - show someone, somewhere, what is wrong with me! I need help, and I need it now! Don't leave me here like this, help me!" I demanded. I don't usually pray that way, and I don't recommend it, but like I said, I was at my wit's end. The next day I had an appointment with my DO, who decided that the intestinal stuff couldn't be explaining all my symptoms and maybe I had a genetic mutation which was causing me problems with methylating. I had never heard of such a thing, but sure enough, I have a double MTHFR mutation which explains so many of my symptoms. I will write more on this later as I want to raise awareness and see if I can help others with chronic illnesses get diagnosed and treated. Long story short, with the right vitamins and detox lifestyle and therapies (this mutation causes your body to not process B vitamins and to not be able to get rid of toxins - which can lead to fatigue, immunity problems, and even, as in my case, neurological problems), I can get better over time. It won't be a "quick fix", it will be a marathon, not a sprint. But God is so faithful to hear my prayers, even when they are disrespectful. And He is faithful to let me have relapse after relapse this fall, which led my DO to look deeper than he had already. He is so faithful to give me such a loving husband who insists on taking care of me, even when I don't want to let him. He is in control, and He is so good.