Last Thursday I finally made a decision I've been considering for a while - I put my two weeks notice at my preschool job, and am going to be a full-time housewife in two weeks. I have very mixed feelings about this. I love my job as a preschool assistant, and I will miss the kids and my co-workers so much - the kids at my school are just adorable, and I have some very good friends among the staff. The teacher I work with, Jennifer, and I are a good team - we actually work well together, which is an uncommon blessing- and she is a true friend. My boss, Dawn, is a kind woman who really cares about the needs of the children at the school - she feels that all children have special needs- a rare and refreshing perspective! This is the best job I've ever had (as far as happiness levels goes), and I am sad to have to leave it.
But I also am relieved. I am going to be very honest here about something that I don't usually talk about because it frankly is embarrassing. I am relieved about not catching every virus that comes around (I have a low immunity), not having to go into work sick all the time (because if I called in as much as I should I would never be there), and not being in tons of pain but having to pick up tricycles and kids. Without catching everything that goes around, I will be able to focus on reversing endometriosis and PCOS. Without constantly having some virus, I will be able to exercise and cope better with the physical pain, and get over my conditions. And I will overcome PCOS and endometriosis - if it is humanly possible!
I am also excited. Excited for new opportunities - at home. Excited for the health - and the energy - to be able to start a home business - all kinds of exciting ideas are swirling around in my head (calligraphy, writing, historic art, to name a few!) Excited to eventually have the health - and energy- to garden, bake bread, actually keep my house clean, have people over, volunteer with the homeless . . . . the options are endless! Of course I will have to pace myself, but I think I will have a lot more options (read - energy!) if I am not constantly sick. And I am excited to work together with my husband at helping him with his ministry and writing and starting karate classes - I will still be working, but as a team with my husband instead of for someone else. Instead of getting bored, I am sure that I will feel like I always do - wishing I had the energy and hours in a day to accomplish all I want to do! I realize that this lifestyle is not one every woman would prefer, but it is one that I know will bring us great happiness.
And mostly I am thankful. Thankful that God gave me a husband who begged me quit working and to not make myself sick over paying off student loans faster. Thankful that we have crafted our lifestyle so that all my earnings went to debt and savings so that we could afford to take this step. Thankful that I have a husband who is willing to work hard and live a simple life so that his wife can stay home, and is more than happy to do it. I know that I do not deserve these things - that many women have to work and under much more difficult circumstances- and this humbles me and even baffles me. It causes me to ask "Why me God?" but in opposite than the typical way.